I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
