omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
