I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.