they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
