How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
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this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
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We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...