i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
What a dumb baby whore.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I feel like I smell like bad decisions