you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
