i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
