I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
