ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
