There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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