i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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