doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
