We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
