and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
