you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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