Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
