Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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