so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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