I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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