so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
