It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
