Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
