I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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