hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I don't think brook has ever known best
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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