The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
