Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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