I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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