remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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