I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
what day is it and did you see me today?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
