Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
