so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
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