Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
