No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
