his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
