New invention idea: vibrating tampons
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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