ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
