dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
