i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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