you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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