nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
