i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
