I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
