Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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