JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
