why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
