"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
