with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
