would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
