if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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