One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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