Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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