what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
