Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
