so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
