So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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