but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
you inspire me to be a worse person
Houston, we have a squirter
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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