Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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