so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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