my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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