I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
COCAINE IS GR8
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
