And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
