How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
