She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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