I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
