Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
